Sunday, May 3, 2009

The Cruelty of the Insecure

I've pondered many times what it is, outside of mental illness, that causes individuals to be so cruel. I know you've encountered cruel, vicious people -- in real life and online. I started analyzing cruelty in people a little over two years ago, questioning their underlying motives and core issues. Outside of being psychopaths or sociopaths, the commonalities I've observed are low self-esteem and major insecurity issues combined with narcissistic tendencies.

The most vicious of these individuals admit no flaw in themselves yet find fault, on some scale, with practically everyone they encounter. By degrading and humiliating others, they feel a false sense of superiority. It is, however, fleeting. Therefore, they must always feed their insecurities by finding new victims to attack. They believe their witty, cutting remarks will make them appear more intelligent, more attractive, more desirable in some way. It may to others who have insecurities on a grand scale but not to those with high self-esteem. Those with high self-esteem merely view these people as immature or psychologically damaged.

The best explanation I've come up with is emotional maturity, or lack thereof. A person's emotional maturity can be hindered by abuse, trauma, or poor relationships. Individuals who were abused or neglected in childhood often suffer a setback in emotional growth. They seem "stuck" at a certain level of maturity far younger than their chronological age. Mentally, however, they can be highly intelligent individuals, which creates a sharp contrast between the way the are able to manipulate complex ideas compared to their inability to act or behave appropriately when interacting with others.

Sadly, most of these individuals (often due to a superiority complex) will never seek the treatment they require in order to heal the wounds of their past and reach a state of self-realization. The more intelligent the individual with low self-esteem is, the less likely they are to get help. So, what are we, as a society, to do about these insecure, narcissistic personalities who wander through life hurting as many as they can? Is there a solution?

Those are my ponderings at this hour. I hope all of that made sense. I was only able to sleep three hours last night and, honestly, I don't even know how I'm able to hold myself upright in this chair right now.

With great love... ~♥~


Jen said...

Hmmm, that is very interesting.

I can definately recognise certain persons in the description you have given, The 'intelligence factor' was one that I never tied in before. Definately food for thought. Thank you for sharing.